called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
