Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
