tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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