He asked me if I "almost moaned"
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
