Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
