He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Randomize
