My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
