I must be too annoying 4 u.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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