Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
