I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
