There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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