god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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