margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
