how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
