I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
