Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
