I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Randomize
