It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
