I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Randomize
