mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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