question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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