if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
