If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
