Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
