I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
