Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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