I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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