the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Found the puke drawer
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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