i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
