Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
We are all done wearing pants today
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
