i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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