Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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