we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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