Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Randomize
