She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
