he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Randomize
