i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
