I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
