I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
