I'm eating all of the evidence.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
