did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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