It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
