then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
