She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
