But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
