Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
