2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
