you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
We have so much sex to catch up on
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
