32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize
