so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
